Create a mindset for confidence and success.
Embrace who you are and believe in yourself and a whole new world full of opportunity and promise becomes open to you.
I have and will make mistakes and those mistakes are owned, accepted and I move on. Confidence doesn’t allow me to become stuck in negative mindsets that will affect the way I think about myself, and ultimately, my self-esteem.
Mindsets that Lead to Low Self-Confidence and How to Change Them
Negative mindsets tend to have a lot of “always” or “never” talk, creating a sense of entrapment and hopelessness. Here are some examples of negative mindsets that can lead to low confidence.
“I will never get it right.”
Thinking this way can keep you from trying again, or even trying something for the first time. It makes it only too easy to give up.
“Nobody understands what this is like.”
When you lack self-confidence, a lot of times you assume that everyone else has it together and you’re the odd man or woman out. You may feel isolated, and feel as if others have their lives together while you are still floundering.
“I am totally useless.”
When you lack confidence, you may feel like you don’t have anything of value to contribute, whether it’s to your workplace, relationships, or something else.
“I am a complete failure.”
No one fails at every single thing; but to a person with low self-confidence, it can sure seem that way. You may feel like everything you’ve ever tried has failed, even if this is not true.
“I could never do that.”
Do you see someone with a successful lifestyle you wish you had? If you lack self-confidence, you may have the above reaction. Instead of being inspired and wanting to create that lifestyle for yourself, you may look at that person with envy and maybe even jealousy, thinking you could never have what they have.
How Can These Mindsets Be Overcome?
In order to overcome these destructive mindsets that lead to low confidence, it’s necessary to reprogram your thought processes. You will need to pay attention to your negative self-talk and immediately change it to something positive.
For example, instead of “I will never get it right,” you could stop that thought in its tracks and think instead, “I have trouble with this, but if I keep trying and seek out the right help, I know I can succeed.” Rather than, “I could never do that,” think, “I would love to do that! There’s no reason why I can’t have that lifestyle if I work at it.”
You may need the assistance of a therapist or counselor. But, like everything else in life, you can do it if you set realistic goals and have confidence in yourself!
Steps to Confidence
Building confidence is a necessary exercise for many of us. If self-confidence does not come naturally or has diminished, building it up takes deliberate, conscious effort, time and kindness toward yourself. While no step-by-step program is perfect, following are some steps that may help you build up your sense of confidence.
Write them down. Make a list of your goals, long and short term, and then below each goal write the steps it will take to get there. For example, if one of your goals is to launch a website to earn money, your list might look like this:
- Reserve domain
- Set up hosting
- Contact web designer and discuss layout
- Write a short e-book as a promotional giveaway
- Write content and newsletters for site to cover several months after launch
Whether it’s relationships, business ventures, or self-improvement, writing your goals and their necessary steps can make those goals much less formidable and much more doable. That alone helps you feel more confident in moving forward.
While it’s good to have aspirations toward self-improvement, constantly comparing yourself to the best of the best in your realm can get discouraging. For example, if you’d like to have a talk radio show or Podcast, you might be inspired by high-profile radio hosts; being inspired by them is fine, but beating yourself up because you are not exactly like they are – complete with millions of listeners – can discourage instead of inspire you.
Build a Positive Self-Image
It seems that when you are just certain you are going to fail before you try something, you are more likely to fail when you do try it. If you have a negative self-image and think you just can’t achieve anything, it’s likely that you won’t – thus underscoring this false impression about yourself. Stop listening to the negative inner voice and instead tell yourself that you can achieve your goals and, even if you fail, it’s not because you are a bad person or because you didn’t try.
Get to Know Yourself
This means spending some quiet time thinking or writing in a journal – some quiet time by yourself in which you assess your strengths, weaknesses, and personality. What are your character traits? What quirks and talents do you have? Pretend like you are being interviewed and that the interviewer is trying to get to know you. What questions would they ask? Creating a daily journaling habit- a journal is a personal space in which to explore, grow, and engage mindfully without judgment.
Turn off the Media
For a while, it might be good to turn off the TV, put down the magazines and unplug from social media. The perfect-people images found in the media can be discouraging for those who are struggling with self-confidence. Researchers recently discovered that one in three people felt worse after visiting Facebook and more dissatisfied with their lives. Unplugging resets and refocuses appreciation and gratitude for our lives.
Think about this, “I feel the most confident when ________________.” What is the one thing that you do without reservation in your belief that you can do it and do it well?
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