Stop Negative Self-Talk

Capture the power of positive thinking and create a mindset for success and happiness.

Capture the power of positive thinking and create a mindset for success and happiness. Pin it now and read later. Click through and be inspired by the power of positive thinking. Jill Conyers | Fitness Health & Happiness http://jillconyers.com @jillconyers

Our thoughts are extremely powerful and, good or bad, they create our world.

Have you ever given much thought to your thoughts? Do you notice if what you’re thinking is positive or negative?

Mindset has a strong impact on decisions we make and actions we take in order to reach our goals. Our motivation depends on positive thinking. It’s the positive thoughts that will set you up for success and happiness.

“The day is what you make it! So why not make it a great one?”
-Steve Schulte

Recognize negative self-talk and choose not to engage in it. Re-frame situations to see the possibilities and focus on the positives. By learning to recognize and redirect your mind away from the negative self-talk helps create a mindset for success.

4 Ways You Can Stop Negative Self-Talk

Listen to Your Inner Dialogue: Pay attention to what you say to yourself, either out loud or in your mind, and write it down. Journal when you have negative self-talk, making notes of not only what you are thinking and saying to yourself, but when you had the thoughts. When you start to write your inner dialogue down, it can be a wake-up call for how unreasonably critical you are being to yourself, and that realization alone can begin to change the inner dialogue.

Stop The Negative Thoughts: When you notice yourself saying something negative in your mind, simply make a choice to stop your thought mid-stream by saying “NO” or “STOP” to yourself. You might be surprised by how often you actually listen to what you’re telling yourself.

Reframe Negative Statements: When you find yourself engaging in negative self-talk or complaining about something, try to re-frame the situation. Negative statements like “I can’t handle this!” or “This is hopeless!” are damaging because they increase your stress in a given situation which can stop you from searching for solutions and moving forward.

Write down the positives: Make a list of the positive things about yourself you know to be true. Focus on what you’re good at, strengths and accomplishments. When you actually write them down, you can look back at the list and see the positives during times when they’re most difficult to see.

“Being miserable is a habit; being happy is a habit; and the choice is yours.” -Tom Hopkins

The expectation of having positive thoughts all the time is unrealistic, but remembering that our thoughts DO affect our actions, our happiness and outcomes of our effots helps us catch ourselves and rephrase those negative thoughts into positive ones.

“We will act consistently with our view of who we truly are, whether that view is accurate or not.” –Tony Robbins

Positive thought isn’t seeing the world and life as perfect, but rather seeing things and situations differently.

This post is inspired by learning and practicing these words everyday to accomplish my dreams. Learning to stop negative self-talk in it’s tracks before it stops me in mine. I’m proving to myself that it works.

Do you have thoughts that are holding you back from accomplishing your goals? Are your negative self thoughts a roadblock to your success? How do you stop negative self-talk?

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75 Comments

  1. What an excellent post! I can definitely relate to battling negative thoughts especially in the area of perfection. I’m slowly working through my irrational desire to be perfect and even just wrote a blog post about it! Thank you for sharing these tips!

  2. I love these tips. Sometimes our day is defined by our we choose to view it. It’s definitely helpful to channel positive thoughts even in hard times!

  3. Our thoughts and our perception of things can definitely shape our reality. I love the work of Byron Katie for this very reason, that she gets around the idea of our thoughts being the root of all pain, and once we can change our thoughts, we can control how we experience the world.

  4. With two little girls I have found that I need to be extremely careful with what I say (or don’t say out loud) because they are watching every move I make regardless if I am aware or not. We actually got rid of traditional tv because I was getting tired of hearing all the negative messages that were being spoon fed to my girls.

  5. This is such an important topic! I don’t know why we feel the need to be so negative about ourselves! I figure, if I wouldn’t say it to my friend, why would I say it to myself.

  6. ..I love the quote about being happy being a habit. I have several curmudgeons in my life I could share that one with! I have a “I can do it list” on my phone that tends to keep me focused when Im getting overwhelmed. My mom had me write it when I was in college and Ive updated it and used it for years!

  7. I have noticed that the more I beat myself up over a choice I made or one of my characteristics, the more agitated and frustrated I become. I’m going to refocus on being positive.

  8. I love the idea of reframing the negatives as positives. I can sometimes get stuck in a very negative place. These are all very helpful tips!

  9. CourtneyLynne says:

    Omg so much yes!!!! I’m always telling people to change there mindset. Positive thoughts definitely equal a positive life!

  10. This is so important! Thank you for writing this as negative thoughts are often something that hold me back1

  11. Oh my goodness, yes. Negative self talk is a dream killer and I am so glad that you’re touching on it here!

  12. wow these are great tips and needed to hear this. I like the idea of writing down the POSITIVE things about yourself – need to do that 😉

  13. This is just what I needed today! I am my own worst critic for sure. It can be rough!

  14. positive thinking is sometimes all that stands between failure and success. I also believe it has a lasting effect on your happiness in general.

  15. It is downright amazing what clearing your head and life of negativity can do! I gave up negativity (and bullshit) for Lent and I have never felt better — so I just kept it going!! 🙂

  16. I think I am a pretty positive person but even I think I need to write some positive things on paper sometimes. It can only help.

  17. Great tips! I definitely struggle to reframe not necessarily negative self-talk but anxiety…I can always rabbit trail myself into a disaster that is NOT coming!

  18. I learned to transform the negatives into positives long ago, but it’s nice to have a reminder sometimes 🙂

  19. I try to fill myself with positive thoughts each morning. It is amazing how easily those negative thoughts will creep in there.

  20. I love this post because sometimes when life is throwing things at you the negativity can make it ten times worse. This is a really inspiring post

  21. I know how important this is but wow, is it hard to stop. You have to know mindfulness, too, so that you are consciously making an effort to make the change.

  22. Robin Rue (@massholemommy) says:

    I talk negatively about myself all the time. But you are totally right, I need to stop that way of thinking.

  23. I love this! I had negative self-talk for YEARS and it is truly amazing how debilitating it is. Thanks for the inspiration to only speak to me with love! xox

  24. I love this post! Especially the “being miserable is a habit” quote. I always tell my BF that and he doesn’t believe it. I tell him if he is positive, positive things will come, and vice versa. I need to improve on negative self talk when it comes to running. I’ll be in a race and start thinking negatively when my pace slows or if I need to stop and walk for a bit.

  25. Love this, Jill! I am so bad about internalizing things and thinking negatively about myself. I need reminders like this one every once in a while to help me reset and get my thoughts back on the right track. Thanks for writing this great post!

  26. I think I can definitely have negative self talk, not necesarily about myself, but about my circumstances. Instead of going “this sucks” I try to think of it as an adventure and find a way to make it fun if I can.

  27. I needed to hear this right now. I recently have found myself dwelling on things (work, personal, everything!) in my head and I need to stop doing that. I love the quote about how being happy is a choice. So true!

  28. I have gotten a lot better about negative self-talk. I do make a conscious effort most of the time, but it’s been much easier lately, not sure what has changed!

  29. I notice a big difference in how I feel once I reframe my thoughts. It takes me a while but I think I’m getting better with it. You can only wallow in negative for so long before you’re ready to let it go!

  30. Jill, I so needed this post today, as I have a negative mind of past events and situations; aches and pains. So what I try to do is psych myself and say, “Look how far you’ve come…..” “This too shall pass….” “How can I make myself smile today….” “What can I do to make someone else happy….” “Put dancing music on and dance around the house…” BUT….as Toni said, some days are harder than others, so I say, “Tough it out Jill. Pity party needs to be brief:)” My Mini Slump with negative thoughts is slowly diminishing. I’m grateful to my friends and family, and blog posts such as yours to know I’m not the only one.

  31. Great post Jill!! I try very hard to negate all the negative self talk! It harder on some days than others.

  32. I like the idea of writing down the positives. Back when I kept paper journals, I would always write a “letter to my future self” by flipping ahead 20 pages or so and writing down some encouraging words and what I was worried about at the time. I wouldn’t read it again until I actually wrote enough to get to that page. Sometimes it would be weeks. When I got to it, I would flip ahead and write a new one. It always put a smile on my face and reminded me that things usually work out.

  33. Hi Jill,
    What a great topic for a blog post and link up! I shared ‘How to Accentuate the Positive with a 10 Day Negative Thought Fast’ as well as ‘Self Love: The Key to Lasting Weight Loss’. Thanks for hosting! All the best, Deborah

  34. I use to think very negatively about my future as a group exercise teacher. I’m not the kind of person who raises their hand or is eager to jump on stage so my fear and self-consciousness was holding me back. Finally, I decided to visualize my future in the way I wanted to see it. Now I repeat to myself, “I am an inspiring, motivating and confident teacher. I lead people to a healthier life.” In a couple of months I will be completing my AFAA Group X Certification and starting my CYT-200 Certification…and I’m ready to get started! Love this post 🙂

  35. A friend and I were just having this exact conversation last night. I’m going to forward this to her! Thank you Jill 🙂

  36. I’ve actually been struggling a lot with this lately so your post was definitely very timely. I usually try to immediately replace any negative thought with a positive one but sometimes it’s a little hard. I think I’ve been getting a little better the last week or so, but I still have a long way to go.

    Happy Friday, Jill! #fitfamlove 🙂

  37. You always have the most wonderful ways of turning everything positive. I love how well you express your sentiments without being “preachy” or too wordy. Awesome post and I absolutely agree the negative self talk has to stop!

  38. I actually do pretty well with limiting the negative self-talk. I just always think that if I’m doing my best, I don’t need to beat myself up about it. No sense in it. I’m pretty realistic and positive when it comes to dealing with myself and my goals.

  39. It’s so important to be aware of your inner dialogue and not let emotions get the best of you. This is a great reminder of strategies to use when you feel it coming on!

  40. yeah! Happy thoughts are a choice! I choose to be happy! and happy Friday! Very good tips for all 🙂

  41. This is definitely an important message! I can’t tell you how much better things have gotten now that I actively try and stop negative self talk. Whenever I am faced with a negative situation I always try and shift my perspective to something positive.

  42. I find those who can never seem to find a positive thing to say about anything or anyone may not even realize they are being that way and then wonder why they are miserable. They find fault in everything.

  43. Or you could do what my coach makes me do…burpees…

    This is right up my alley, Jill! I’m always trying to stay positive. It’s a work in progress for me.

  44. Amazing things can be accomplished with the power of positivity!

  45. Negative thinking really makes it hard for anybody to succeed. I always say I’m a glass half full type of person, but I catch myself sometimes being negative. Great post!

  46. That is such an inspiring blog to end the week, Jill.
    I have been combating negative thoughts since surgery. It is indeed a battle. The time I’m “wasting”, the fitness regression, so many things.
    Being home alone just makes things worse. Thank god there is Soubi, the cat, with whom I can do silly sometimes.
    We have to fight. We cannot give in. We deserve all that we dare dreaming of!
    Have a beautiful weekend.

  47. I definitely believe that our thoughts can help or hinder our success. I’m a firm believer that if you think you can, you will!

  48. Great post, Jill. I believe happiness can be created as a habit. Some people are naturally born with the ability but others have to work at it. The spiral of being negative is dangerous. These are wonderful suggestions to stop it from happening.

  49. Ugh I am guilty of negative self talk a LOT! There’s no way I’ll sake off self doubt or build my confidence with negative talk so I need to actively remind myself to think positive about myself!
    Karen @karenlovestorun

  50. We are all our worst critics, and its often easy to be negative about ourselves and point out what we could do to improve. Instead, we should focus on the positive and all that we’ve accomplished.

  51. It’s so much easier for me to reframe others negative thoughts and help them see how to change them than it is for me to do it for myself. I guess that’s why I used to be a therapist 🙂 Good reminders for us all.

  52. I try to talk to myself the way I would encourage a friend — the opposite of the Golden Rule, I guess!

  53. I get this on so many levels. Whether it is not wanting to deal with something at work or my thoughts on running (my triathlon limiter). The mental attitude makes such a difference. Good post.

  54. I catch myself at times giving way to negative thoughts, but then try to figure out a way to turn them around! Posts like this are helpful.

    1. Thanks Amy! Negative self talk happens to us all but how we handle them is what makes a difference.

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