My injury took a bigger toll on me emotionally than it did physically. Yes, the no running sucked but feeling like a failure was worse. Rationally, I know this is a self defeating mindset but I let the irrational take over. For the past month or so I have allowed the stress and discouragement of feeling like a failure override most things I know, love and do about health and fitness. The funny thing is I just put this all together and figured out the “why” of all of this a few days ago. Before I went to bed I told Chad about my ah ha moment.
I really wish everyone reading this could have the opportunity to meet my husband. He is a man like no other.
He sees great in me even when I can’t.
Back to my point. So I told him about my ah ha and his first question was, “don’t you see everything you accomplish?” More conversation and then he basically said “so what are you going to do about it?” My first thought was a feeling of helplessness in being able to do anything so I said nothing. Then he basically said, get over it and move on.” He wasn’t going to allow me to continue another 4 weeks of a self defeating mindset. Man. Talk about tough love. I didn’t even get a hug during all of this. Well, you know what, a hug wasn’t what I needed. I needed a kick in the butt. And that is what I got from the man I love.
So, what am I going to do about it?
I’m taking back control and Michelle Bridges is going to help me!
As a Girls Gone Sporty Ambassador I was given the opportunity to participate in a 5-week preview of Michelle Bridges 12 Week Body Transformation. At first I was going to decline simply due to self doubt and fear of failure. After my
conversation kick in the butt by my husband I looked at this opportunity with a different mindset. I looked at this as perfect timing and exactly what I need.
I’m facing self doubt and fear of failure head on!
Before the workouts and menus start there are tasks to complete to prepare for the weeks ahead. I have never gone through the actions to prepare myself mentally for a challenge but I’m glad I did. In going through the tasks I thought about what my biggest barriers to success are going to be:
- stress eating has become a very bad habit (particularly after work from 3-5)
- another bad habit, for the past month allowing fear of failure to control my actions
- allowing “too busy” to be an excuse
- analysis paralysis. (I didn’t even realize I was doing until after I watched one of Michelle Bridges’ videos) a mental block designed by our subconscious to delay decision making because of an underlying fear or insecurity.
Going through the prep week opened my eyes and changed my thinking. I don’t know exactly how I’m going to overcome these barriers but I will.
By Sunday I will complete the fitness test and take the dreaded before photo. My intent is to share both but, honestly, as I sit here typing this I’m having my doubts about sharing either. My fear? Embarrassment. I said I’m facing fear of failure and self doubt in the face. Maybe I NEED to share the results of my fitness test AND the before photo.